The ingredients of Sophie Kinsella books
Sophie Kinsella’s heroines are so sassy, sultry, and vivacious.
Though you may agree that THEY ARE appealing and irresistible with their curvy and voluptuous derrières, simply put, but you also have to be on terms with me when I say they ARE a novel’s worth of supercilious, conceited, calculating and vain and not to mention talentless thespians whose allure and hotness have seriously gotten to their heads.
The female protagonists are perky undeniably because Sophie’s novels are pretty sarcastic and hilarious. But I’m sure if you have read any of her books you have realized that the bombshell female leads lack a sizeable portion in the high school education department when it comes to academics and general knowledge.
Moreover, their sense of humor (or is it their intention to tease and ridicule you whenever they prefer) does not particularly induce laughing helplessly, rather give you a notion that something funny or scornful has been said and you are supposed to laugh till your sides ache. But that’s not the outcome, instead, you end up probably merely cracking a fraction or more of a ghastly smile because come on, it IS intended to be funny and is supposed to tickle you. It’s a notion and directive you can’t ignore or turn down.
So much well crafted and aptly generated manipulation down the drain. All those efforts of striking the hilarity chord amidst the hustle and bustle of your miserable life for nothing. That was just to cheer up the lesser humans like you and me. I mean, come on, we lead our mundane lives without fun and don’t understand the differences between funny and sanctimonious and those female leads don’t need to get a life. EVER! You are the low life in question!
Next time before you call your neighborhood aunt who loves Hindi serials (and reminds you of that B+ in your GCE biology whenever she finds you) a drama queen, reminisce and pay homage to those timeless beauties whose budding talent is to taunt the darn hell out of you. Just remember that we are all half-wits to be graced by the presence and performance of those corny and “goofy” chicks. Speaking of goofiness, they have revolutionized its very meaning by being at your throat even when you say something more accurate and profound than the General Theory of Relativity. Or the Special Theory of Relativity! Though it DOES NOT make a difference to them, bear in mind.
Those hot chicks are so dumbfoundingly cheeky and brazen and cannot be put up with, thanks to their perpetually disagreeable demeanor, which you may rephrase as snobbish. Talk about being unfriendly and incompatible with people of all shapes and sizes. It simply catapults your mind to that lucrative and unloved notion academically known as an attitude problem. Try to be understanding and compassionate for a change! Attitude problem is merely a consequence of their indifference and disdain, which are useful and much-appreciated by-products of their breathtaking, captivating, and smoldering appeal/looks. Smokey eyes, anyone? Doesn’t every last one of those packs of witless fools they love to dominate dig that makeup style?
Their intolerable meat-headed pomp, which is a casual by-product of their steamy looks, really drives me to “brand” them ignorant, uninformed, unrighteous, and last but not the least, absolutely incompatible as world citizens. Exactly what universe are you from, Becky or Emma, or whatever you are? (Becky was the protagonist in Sophie’s iconic Shopaholic series and Emma in the phenomenally successful novel “Can you keep a secret?”)
I don’t think they have enough faith and ethics or morals to be atheists, forget Christians! (I think faiths other than Islam are just different hues of the same color tone or feathers from the same bird species. No offense intended!) I don’t think those bombshell babes can ever identify an ethical crisis if they ever come across one.
They lack those perceptions of decency and righteousness that the rest of the world takes for granted and they don’t have the moralistic perspectives that make the world go round. Devoid of ethical sentiments and values which are so seamlessly interwoven with logic and reason, how can they call themselves loaded with sense and sensibility? They are definitely not your cup of tea if you are prejudiced with ideals and righteous sense. They, unfortunately, lack any real ideological views and thought-provoking sentiments.
Sentiment is not associated with preserving your favorite pink bunny rabbit until you are eighty. It is something entirely different and is something very deep. Sentiment is about wearing decent clothes and saying things that matter and not rubbish things that irritate and annoy people. It is also about being right about profound matters, which they have distorted ideas about. Sentiment doesn’t necessarily mean you can’t be materialistic and worldly.
And since when are those sizzlers into acceptable attire that is adequate to conceal their smoking hot selves? Most of them have superseded the most sizzling actresses of the most sizzling flicks even in their everyday lives anyway.
They are the worst spoilt brats in the observable universe and beyond. That doesn’t mean they need to grow up because they are so mature and ethically warped. I mean what exactly is “growing up” about? It is not about becoming more responsible and less selfish. It is about being not provocative and not mature in the sense that involves not being into rubbish matters and engaging in foul talk.
We don’t need to save the world from dark forces. Those dense, meatheads need to change themselves to ensure the world becomes free from the delightful buzz and crackle of abominable atrocity.
